You are not alone
When trust is broken, everything feels uncertain and unsettling. You might feel disconnected and alone, sitting in the pain of broken trust, disbelief, and disconnection.
Recovering from infidelity and betrayals is possible. You can move from a fractured trust to renewal and recovery of your relationship.
Therapy for infidelity and betrayals offers a space to explore negative patterns, understand what happened, find and create stability, learn to communicate honestly and effectively, and begin the slow, gentle process of renewing trust.
My Approach
turning toward, instead of away
After finding out about infidelity or a betrayal you can feel like you’re on a rollercoaster that just won’t stop. One partner is sitting in shock, grief, anger, and sadness - often all happening at the same time. The other partner can often feel weighed down with guilt, shame, and fear of losing everything. You both might know that something has been off in the relationship, but it’s felt too risky, uncertain, and maybe even scary to bring these things up.
I use Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT)and The Developmental Model for Couples to give us a clear, structured map toward relationship recovery and renewed trust. I often utilize the Gottman Method to introduce new tools for more immediate symptom relief.
We will work slowly to establish safety, slow down heightened conversations, create an understanding of what happened, and change your emotional cycle. We work to move out of blaming and defensiveness to create ways to take accountability, increase emotional connection, and to address the pain that was caused.
Effective infidelity and betrayal therapy doesn’t just fix what’s broken. We change the way you interact with your partner to create deeper emotional bonds, safety, security, and establish a new confidence that you can handle difficult moments going forward. My hope is for you to not just feel better, but to have an honest, consistent, reliable, and intimate bond.
therapy for infidelity & betrayals looks like:
slowing down conversations so they don’t cause further harm
developing new understanding about the emotional patterns that pulled you apart
creating individual goals for how you want to show up in your relationship going forward
developing a clear understanding of what happened
processing trauma- like responses partners might be experiencing
creating a safe space for partners to turn toward one another, sharing their feelings with honesty and openness & partners learning to hear these emotions without shutting down or becoming overwhelmed
looking at the cycle that led to the infidelity or betrayal and navigating difficult conversations around this cycle
responding to attachment needs and rebuilding safety and security in the relationship
a non-judgemental space to assess needs and values going forward
a space to grow closer, with invigorated intimacy, honesty, and love.
BUMPS IN THE ROAD ARE INEVITABLE. I’LL HELP YOU NAVIGATE THEM.
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Sometimes one partner is feeling ambivalent about the relationship or is leaning out. We can discuss Discernment Counseling. Discernment counseling is a structured, time-limited process (1-5 sessions) created to increase clarity about the relationship. You will decide to maintain status quo, go all in on couples therapy (and take divorce off the table for a set amount of time), or proceed with separation or divorce. This can give you confidence in the decision you make - taking time to explore hopes, doubts, and fears.
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Hesitancy, shame, guilt, and fear are all normal and common. They can also block attempts at repair. Shame often tells us to hide away and avoid talking about these topics. In our work I invite you to process the shame and the underlying emotions that tell you to hide away. Instead of avoiding it, we create new ways to communicate about the pain and deep emotional healing.
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I tell all my clients that therapy can make things feel worse before you feel better. We. are exploring things we often sweep under the rug and the process of being honest and open about one’s emotions is scary. That’s why we make the process slow and about changing the emotional cycle. Rebuilding trust, commitment, and honesty takes time - couples learn how to turn toward each other, instead of hiding away. I check in often with couples around the progress we are making and any changes to sessions we need to make.